you know what sucks the most about being in an ld relationship? the fact that you can't be with the person you love on important days. this coming sunday is shayna's birthday, and i'm not going to be there. it's really been bothering me as of late. i have an idea of why, but i think i'm in denial that that's the reason. here's my theory anyway, i think it's bothering me because i know she has a lot of fun stuff planned and i won't be there to enjoy any of it with her. she keeps telling me that it's no big deal and she has many more birthdays that we'll be celebrating together. yeah, but it still bothers me. i want to be there and be part of your life right now, telling me that there'll be other ones isn't going to compensate for this year. add the fact that some of her friends ditched her not only on her actual birthday, but other days (such as this thurs, or next monday, for example). personally, i can't imagine being alone on my birthday, let alone without my girlfriend. hmm maybe it's just me, and if that's the case i need some help. anyway, can't wait to see how i act come new years. yeah that's right. currently, there are no plans to see each other on new years. kinda hard to fathom huh? two people who are so in love won't be together to celebrate the new year. eh, what're ya gonna do...

so bottom line, i'm kinda miserable right now. heh, she'll keep reassuring me, but until it's over and i'm not there it won't be ok with me.