out of the 20-30 some-odd times i've taken a ua(urinanalysis), tonight was by far the funniest.
i walk in and there's a guy at the counter waiting to check in. he turns around and sees me, does a double take, then looks at me gives me that "what-up" nod. being the polite gentleman i am i say "hey" to him. all the while thinking to myself "who the hell are you?" it's bad enough running into these kind of people at the store or a bar (especially when you're drunk, but at least then you can blame it on the alcohol), but at a ua joint, heh, well. he then says to me after he's checked-in, like we're old buddies, "so what, you here for work?" "no, i got a dui last december, a year ago last friday to be exact." "oh, that sucks." yeah. it did, but i've grown from it. i then get checked-in and have a seat. there's a kid in there with his mom, he's in high school, probably there for sports or whatever. he says he's ready to go and goes into the bathroom. meanwhile, his mom turns to me and says "i figured i'd bring him after school, he'd go, and we'd be done. after all, that's what he does normally - comes home and goes to the bathroom." "yeah, well, it's a little different with someone else in the room." she agreed. poor kid comes out and still couldn't go. he says to me "man, i've been here for an hour and a half. this is getting ridiculous." "hmm...i usually have 3 glasses of water before i go to work, and even if i have to go i don't let myself." after that neat little conversation, it's finally my turn to go. i rinse my hands and go in the bathroom. the guy hands me the cup and i start going. now normally during this time the test admin fills out the paperwork, rather than watch me or at least tries to avoid it. this guy though, says to me "hey, how old are you john?" thinking nothing of it i reply "24." "really, i got a couple of kids your age." OMG. the test admin. is. trying. to talk. to. me...while i'm going to the bathroom. "yeah, one's a little bit older, one's a little bit younger." wow. i am now a part of this guy's life. he's going to be a better person for having now come in contact with me. i sign the paper, say thanks, and then proceed to get out of there as fast as i could. my strangest experience i have ever had there. luckily, i'm almost done.
i walk in and there's a guy at the counter waiting to check in. he turns around and sees me, does a double take, then looks at me gives me that "what-up" nod. being the polite gentleman i am i say "hey" to him. all the while thinking to myself "who the hell are you?" it's bad enough running into these kind of people at the store or a bar (especially when you're drunk, but at least then you can blame it on the alcohol), but at a ua joint, heh, well. he then says to me after he's checked-in, like we're old buddies, "so what, you here for work?" "no, i got a dui last december, a year ago last friday to be exact." "oh, that sucks." yeah. it did, but i've grown from it. i then get checked-in and have a seat. there's a kid in there with his mom, he's in high school, probably there for sports or whatever. he says he's ready to go and goes into the bathroom. meanwhile, his mom turns to me and says "i figured i'd bring him after school, he'd go, and we'd be done. after all, that's what he does normally - comes home and goes to the bathroom." "yeah, well, it's a little different with someone else in the room." she agreed. poor kid comes out and still couldn't go. he says to me "man, i've been here for an hour and a half. this is getting ridiculous." "hmm...i usually have 3 glasses of water before i go to work, and even if i have to go i don't let myself." after that neat little conversation, it's finally my turn to go. i rinse my hands and go in the bathroom. the guy hands me the cup and i start going. now normally during this time the test admin fills out the paperwork, rather than watch me or at least tries to avoid it. this guy though, says to me "hey, how old are you john?" thinking nothing of it i reply "24." "really, i got a couple of kids your age." OMG. the test admin. is. trying. to talk. to. me...while i'm going to the bathroom. "yeah, one's a little bit older, one's a little bit younger." wow. i am now a part of this guy's life. he's going to be a better person for having now come in contact with me. i sign the paper, say thanks, and then proceed to get out of there as fast as i could. my strangest experience i have ever had there. luckily, i'm almost done.
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